Obsessing over your identity feeds your ego and starves you of connections

So Republicans have taken the House, cementing power across Congress and the White House. This as Donald Trump just nominated four more Cabinet members. He’s putting a Cabinet together so fast he’s like Jesus with a power tool. Each represents part of the MAGA alliance that either comes off as impressive or downright shocking. But that’s the nature of the pirate ship.

You get all sorts, and as long as they’re rowing in the right direction, they’re all aboard. Meanwhile, Trump and Biden’s meet-up at the White House revealed the glee among both of them that even the bitter, wound-licking media couldn’t deny. But I think Biden was just happy to spend time with anyone who isn’t trying to put a sheet over his head. So why is there such a feeling of optimism? It’s the difference between wanting and deciding. 

In 2016, there were things Trump wanted — to be the president, to have an impact, to move Michelle Obama’s weight set to the basement. Eight years later, though, the wanting has turned to deciding. Not just for him, but for Americans, too, because we’ve decided it’s time for a big change. 

TRUMP TAPS RFK JR. TO LEAD DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES 

This should have happened four years ago, but that election was about as secure as the sex swing in Chris Christie’s bedroom. It’s like the whole country’s transitioning, except we’re getting our balls back. See, we all want stuff, but there’s a point when you have to decide, yes, I’m going to make my bed. Yes, I’m doing push-ups. Yes, I’m finally getting that One Direction tattoo lasered off my back, then selling it on eBay. 

So this was more than just an election. It’s a transformational moment. Like Jackie Robinson being allowed to play Major League Baseball or women being allowed to vote or Ilhan Omar saying, I do, to her brother. We decided as a country to move forward. And that means no more blaming the people today for the misdeeds of their ancestors. That’s like arresting my great-grandparents because I’m criminally good-looking. 

‘ALL THE OPTIONS’ ARE ON THE TABLE TO GET TRUMP’S CABINET PICKS THROUGH CONFIRMATION, SAYS SEN. JOHN THUNE 

The Dems were looking backward while doing things a– backward. And they got dumped like I did with Taylor Swift. You would, too. She snores like Andre the Giant with a sinus infection. But so many people are taking this personally, as if it’s a rejection of their entire way of thinking. Now, truly, I want Democrats to feel better. I’m tired of seeing Rachel Maddow weeping at Home Depot. And so many in the media are miserable. Imagine being that distraught and not having your own hair to pull out. But the only way to get over it is to get out of your own head. 

Forget about identity. Embrace the world around you. Family, friends, the people you see as you go about your day. Turn anxiety into curiosity. Instead of worrying about how tomorrow affects you, become curious about how you can affect tomorrow. Research shows that people who dwell on themselves experience more depression, but people who turn outward replace that anguish with curiosity. It’s why I installed hidden cameras in the Fox and Friends bathroom. See, identity politics is just a fancy word for “me.” What do I want? What hurts my feelings?

Obsessing over your identity feeds your ego and starves you of precious connections. No wonder a political defeat feels like a wound. But remove identity politics and the ego shrinks like Rachel Levine’s nuts in a cold plunge. I mean, compare Trump supporters to their opposites: RFK, Musk, Tulsi, Rogan, Tucker, Vivek. They’re all curious, adventurous types with outside interests. They surf, falcon, hunt, fly-fish, and leave dead bears in Central Park.

TRUMP NOMINATES FORMER REP. DOUG COLLINS FOR SECRETARY OF VETERANS AFFAIRS 

But they have no time for self-obsession. They literally do not think about themselves. Unlike the noted Never Trumpers who have wounded egos tattooed on their foreheads: Kinzinger, Cheney, Morning Joe. Geraldo’s freaking out so bad the state took custody of his mustache. Just look at the most unhinged outbursts on cable TV.

ARGUMENT ON CNN OVER MEN PLAYING IN WOMEN’S SPORTS 

ARGUMENT ON CNN OVER TRUMP’S SUPPORT FOR VETERANS

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THE VIEW’S SONNY HOSTIN: What is wrong with this country that they would choose a message of divisiveness, of xenophobia, of racism, of misogyny over a message of inclusiveness?

So, talk about emotional wounds because their outrage is rooted in identity. But we’re different. When my guy loses, and he has, my life goes on. I get up the next day and I get dressed like I always do… By a team of Slovakian migrants.