Even as his star continues to rise, Jelly Roll knows there’s still work to do on himself mentally, physically and spiritually.
On Jay Shetty’s “On Purpose” podcast, the Grammy-nominated singer looked back on his arrests, including one for armed robbery at age 15, hoping his victims will forgive him.
“I really want to have a conversation with them. I’ve thought about reaching out. This has been 24 years ago now. And I just don’t know how that would even start — you know, how I would go about it — because sometimes I wonder if they might have even seen me in passing or are aware of my success,” Jelly Roll said, adding they’re on his “amends list.”
“I would just ask them to understand, I would ask them to just, one, forgive me, because there’s no excuse in that. The first accountability is, no matter how old I was, I had no business taking from anybody. Just the entitlement that I had, this, the world owed me enough that I could come take your stuff.
Jelly Roll said he hopes the victims of his armed robbery forgive him. (Chris Unger/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)
“I don’t know what I was even trying to be when I look back now,” the 39-year-old said. “This is how I know I was 15 because the more when I try to make logic of it, I can’t. There was no logic to what I did. It made absolutely no sense. And I learned so much from it and the way that I interact with people.”
Jelly Roll also said he hoped the victims would see how much he’s changed and that “money doesn’t create character, it reveals it.”
The “Save Me” singer first went to juvenile detention at age 13 and was in and out of prisons for years.
Reflecting on his experiences as a teen behind bars, he said, “I missed high school. I missed any kind of normal socializing, any kind of what would be growing up, what would be developing in those areas. And I was developing in a room. And I did a crime that deserved this, by the way, but I was developing in a room with stone white walls, a steel commode and a steel bunk and a six-by-eight cell, six-foot wide, eight-foot long. By the time I was an adult, I had to sleep with my legs curled. Couldn’t stretch all the way out, you know. I’ll never forget being 17, realizing I grew enough that I couldn’t fit in the bunk no more lengthwise.”
Jelly Roll recalled being incarcerated as a teen, saying he missed high school and “any kind of normal socializing.” (WWE/Getty Images)
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Jelly Roll, born Jason DeFord, credits those experiences with making him the person he is now.
“I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for what I went through. I think it empowered me. I think it gave me my voice,” he told Fox News Digital at the 2023 CMAs. “It taught me a lot about overcoming. It taught me a lot about changing and the ability to change.
“When I try to make logic of it, I can’t. There was no logic to what I did. It made absolutely no sense.”
“I was a horrible human for decades, and to just be able to turn that around and give a message in the music and help people … and just try to give back as much as I can in every way I can is very indicative of where I came from and how important it is to me to always reach back.”
During his time in jail, he earned his GED and enrolled in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. He also found a Christian program called Jericho that connected him more deeply with his faith.
Despite saying he was a “horrible human for decades,” Jelly Roll turned his life around in prison through different programs, including a Christian program that helped him connect with his faith. (Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Global Citizen)
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In an interview with Fox News Digital ahead of the 2024 CMT Music Awards, Jelly Roll explained his faith in God has been his “driving force.”
“Faith was a lot of me believing it was going to work out for me,” he said. “Could you imagine being a 37-year-old, unsuccessful musician when you told people that was your job?”
The Tennessee native rose to prominence in 2021 with his album, “Ballad of the Broken,” but had been working for years to break through in the music world, first in hip hop, then country.
“It wasn’t like something I did on the side. Like, it was my job. And I just always had faith that God had a bigger purpose for what I was trying to do,” Jelly Roll said.
Jelly Roll told Fox News Digital, “I just always had faith that God had a bigger purpose for what I was trying to do.” (Cindy Ord)
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In his acceptance speech at the 2024 iHeartRadio Awards, he spoke about how faith guided his journey.
“What does it mean when a guy like me gets the opportunity to be the new pop artist of the year at [the] iHeartRadio Awards? It means that God will always use the least likely messenger with the biggest message every single time,” he said.
Jelly Roll has been using his status as a public figure to speak out on the issues that have impacted his life.
In January, he testified before Congress about the fentanyl crisis, highlighting his past as a drug dealer.
“I was part of the problem. I am here now standing as a man that wants to be part of the solution,” he testified.
WATCH: JELLY ROLL URGES CONGRESS TO ACT ON FENTANYL WITH POWERFUL TESTIMONY
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He explained it is not “a victimless crime” and that the mother of his 16-year-old daughter is a drug addict.
“Every day I get to look in the eyes of a victim in my household of the effects of drugs. Every single day. And every single day, I have to wonder, me and my wife, if today will be the day that I have to tell my daughter that her mother became a part of the national statistic.”
“I just always had faith that God had a bigger purpose for what I was trying to do.”
He called on Congress to be “proactive and not reactive” and pass the FEND Off Fentanyl Act, legislation that targets Chinese chemical suppliers and Mexican drug cartels who are trafficking fentanyl with sanctions.
Jelly Roll has also opened the Youth Campus for Empowerment at the Davidson County Juvenile Justice Center in Nashville, where he was once incarcerated. He told local Fox affiliate WZTV during the groundbreaking that he hoped to improve the conditions to help other struggling teens.
Jelly Roll helped open a new center to assist troubled teens at the Davidson County Juvenile Justice Center in Nashville, where he was once incarcerated. (Getty Images)
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“Get rid of stuff that makes you feel like a caged animal,” he told the outlet, according to People. “Make these kids feel loved and give them a chance in life. A lot of these kids are victims of their circumstances. This is a really great chance to change things.”
He also donated a recording studio to the center in May.
During his interview on “On Purpose,” Jelly Roll said he had a “victim mentality” before turning his life around.
“I was desperate and delusional. I was a desperate delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble,” he said. “I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don’t be a desperate delusional dreamer, you know. But I definitely was consciously making really horrible decisions. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn’t right was everybody’s fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality.
Jelly Roll said he’s forgiven himself by taking accountability for his past actions. (Ayisha Collins/FilmMagic/Getty Images)
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“I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. … And it took years for me to break that, like years of work, solid work, to just like break that. It also has taken years of work for me to even forgive that kid.”
